Category Archives: Waxing lyrical

An Ode to Scotch: Weally Wonderful Whisky (with further apologies to Dr Seuss)

Let me tell you a tale of the water of life224

First recorded in an Abbey in the Kingdom of Fife.

We have to go back some five centuries prior

To meet the first distiller, John Cor, the Friar.


Of course I refer to the whisky that’s Scotch

And pay homage to this dram that is really top notch.

For Scotch Whisky Day falls on July 27th

And while I love gin, scotch must come straight from Heaventh.


It hails from Scotland, home of Alexander Graham Bell,

William Wallace, Sheena Easton, other legends as well.

Like Annie Lennox, Malcolm Tucker and those cheerful Proclaimers

But it’s Scotland’s fine whisky that should be the most famous.


Highland or Lowland, from Speyside or Islay

To try every one of them’s gonna take a while, hey?

So settle in for a minute while I tell you a story

Of Oban and Arran, Mortlach and Tobermory.


There’s GlenDronach, Glenfarclas, Glenfiddich, Glengyle

Glenlossie, Glenlivet, the list goes on a mile.

Across those fine isles, they’re malting, mashing, distilling

Producing this product, so delicious, so thrilling.


Sip quietly on your Bruichladdich or a wee dram of Balblair

You can make out the scent of the peat and salt air.

Then savour a bottle of the rare Longmorn

Or just enough til you’ve spotted a few unicorn.


David Beckham likes Haig, Churchill favoured Johnnie Walker

As a rule, stick to bottles that still have a corker.

For life is too short to drink anything crappa

So have a Lagavulin, a Laphroaig or a Scapa.


But on the rocks, in a cocktail, with water or neat,

However you take it, you’ll find it a treat.

So your choice is a blend? Mine’s a malt, let’s not bicker,

Just raise our glasses in salute of this mighty fine liquor.









An Ode to Gin (with apologies to Dr Seuss)

It’s World Gin Day on Saturday, across the whole planet,

So get out and drink your fair share dammit!

This juniper liquor, so crisp and delicious,Bloody Mary cropped

And with the right garnish, undeniably nutritious.


I’ll list many ways to enjoy this fine spirit,

And if you think of another, well I want to hear it.

Before Gin was Genever, so thanks to the Dutch,

For foresight and cleverness that’s given so much.

Now there’s Plymouth, there’s Sloe, or a classic London Dry,

And boutique local gins, all worth a try.


2016-05-13 18.51.26A Bijou, a Bloodhound, a Bronx or a Rickey,

Yes, choosing gin cocktails can sometimes be tricky.

A Fizz, a Tom Collins,

Or a Singapore Sling,

A Pink Lady, a Gimlet,

Perhaps The Last Word’s your thing?




Or maybe you fancy a Martini that’s Dirty?

Try Nicholson’s, from London, since 1730.

Or if you want gin from a Down Under Land

Try Archie Rose or Four Pillars in your Monkey Gland.2016-02-29 13.14.30


You can sashay on up to your bartender Toni,

And ask for a London Fog,

A Salty Dog,

Or a classic Negroni.


2015-12-06 17.23.46-2

Just remember to pause on Gin’s special day,

And savour its fabulousness in your own way.

Because Gin’s been delighting for hundreds of years

It deserves to be toasted, so here’s to Gin – Cheers!