Let me tell you a tale of the water of life
First recorded in an Abbey in the Kingdom of Fife.
We have to go back some five centuries prior
To meet the first distiller, John Cor, the Friar.
Of course I refer to the whisky that’s Scotch
And pay homage to this dram that is really top notch.
For Scotch Whisky Day falls on July 27th
And while I love gin, scotch must come straight from Heaventh.
It hails from Scotland, home of Alexander Graham Bell,
William Wallace, Sheena Easton, other legends as well.
Like Annie Lennox, Malcolm Tucker and those cheerful Proclaimers
But it’s Scotland’s fine whisky that should be the most famous.
Highland or Lowland, from Speyside or Islay
To try every one of them’s gonna take a while, hey?
So settle in for a minute while I tell you a story
Of Oban and Arran, Mortlach and Tobermory.
There’s GlenDronach, Glenfarclas, Glenfiddich, Glengyle
Glenlossie, Glenlivet, the list goes on a mile.
Across those fine isles, they’re malting, mashing, distilling
Producing this product, so delicious, so thrilling.
Sip quietly on your Bruichladdich or a wee dram of Balblair
You can make out the scent of the peat and salt air.
Then savour a bottle of the rare Longmorn
Or just enough til you’ve spotted a few unicorn.
David Beckham likes Haig, Churchill favoured Johnnie Walker
As a rule, stick to bottles that still have a corker.
For life is too short to drink anything crappa
So have a Lagavulin, a Laphroaig or a Scapa.
But on the rocks, in a cocktail, with water or neat,
However you take it, you’ll find it a treat.
So your choice is a blend? Mine’s a malt, let’s not bicker,
Just raise our glasses in salute of this mighty fine liquor.