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What to drink as the polls close

It’s Election Eve and I’m hoping that one thing we’ve learnt from the past week is that it cly-fizweaa5vryreally does matter how you vote.

I’m of the view that it’s better to find something to cast your vote in favour of, rather than voting against something, but however you choose to select where your vote goes, remember that it does matter. And if you’re a woman, remember that women have died for your right to vote, so enjoy the moment (and the sausage sizzle at the local school).

Something else that matters – a lot – is how you spend Election Night.

Particularly what you’re going to drink.

Oh sure, you could just open a bottle of wine and settle in to watch the channel of your choice. But why limit yourself to just one? And why not let the television coverage dictate a little of your evening too?

So here’s some cocktails to consider mixing up and drinking down as you watch Kerry O’Brien and Laurie Oakes do their thing. (There is a language warning on this one, but politics is an ugly business and sometimes you need the cocktails to do the talking.)



Blue Blazer – every time you see the PM, down this flaming concoction. And it’s flaming as in “on fire” not as in “Alf Stewart is not happy” so take care. Draw your own parallels regarding the PM – blaze of glory or going down in flames



Chill Bill – tombill-shorten-768x512orrow we’ll see the Contender to the Throne pressing the flesh in his best weekend-casual, man-of-the-people,  out-to-vote gear. Just relaxed. Chilled. Like him.

And this obscure lychee liqueur cocktail. There’s a Kill Bill version there too if you prefer. (With thanks to for this excellent image)


New Englander – very difficult to get the ingredients for this one, but if you’ve got a can of 31c01a2b00000578-0-image-a-5_1456890819954Moxie lying around, go for a New Englander whenever you see our erstwhile Deputy PM. Here he is in an outfit that looks as good as Moxie sounds to taste.

In better news, the Old Fashioned was known for a while as a New Englander, so maybe go with that.

And if that doesn’t work, who doesn’t love the sound of a Cowboy Hoof Martini? Yee hah.


Coral Reef – if you see Minister for the Environment Greg Hunt, gaze admiringly at the Coral Reef in your glass and remember what it looks like. Before it disappears forever


Cup of Ambition – When Anthony Albanese was Minister for Transport he intervened in some sort of union trucking fracas to let a Dolly Parton concert go ahead and depending on tomorrow’s results, he might be pouring himself next week.

Cocksucking Cowboy – Cory Bernardi, George Christensen and Scott Morrison seem very interested in what goes on in the lives of consenting grown-ups, so what more perfect cocktail could there be to slam down when you see them?

I can’t give you an image because Googling this cocktail offers quite the education but it’s butterscotch schnapps and Bailey’s.

And if you get bored of those, try a Mount Gay, Dry and Lime.

If you’re interested, here’s some polling undertaken by Libs pollsters Crosby Textor on support in Australia for Marriage Equality. I think this is the right drink for these guys who are hell bent on opposing it while at the same time claiming to be representatives of the people (in fairness though, remember that the Opposition doesn’t have Marriage Equality as a binding party policy until 2018 – the only party that currently has it as official policy is the Greens).


Right, back to the cocktails.

1461340387408Ciao Bella – I’m really hoping to be drinking these rather than the Corpse Reviver when the results from Indi come up

Adios Motherfucker – for Clive Palmer and anyone else you’re happy to see the back of when the Writs are Declared

220px-wyatt_royAngel Face – because that Wyatt Roy is just as cute as the Dickens, isn’t he?

This is not meant to be a partisan post, it just seems so much easier to find a fun cocktail match for Coalition than it does for the ALP.

And the Greens just aren’t much fun at all.

Do you have any other cocktails to add to this list?

We’re likely to be in for a long count tomorrow, and will probably need to stay up until the results come in from WA, so you need to plan how you spend your evening.

To be prepared to make all of these cocktails, you’ll need more than 40 separate cocktail ingredients (and that’s with paring it down to just one type of gin), so I’m going to suggest choosing your favourites and then considering what might have been.

One solution, which I will employ (after the children are safely in bed, visions of sugar-plums dancing in their heads), is to merely shout the name of the appropriate cocktail whenever I see Mssrs Bernardi, Christensen and Morrison.

Pace yourself, some of these drinks have quite the kick and you don’t want to wake up with a Brexit-sized hangover, scratching your head saying “What the fuck happened last night?”


Drop everything and get cocktailing!

Muddlers, today – May 13 – is World Cocktail Day.

Good news is, it falls on a Friday this year.

I hope that most of you already have plans to weave a cocktail into your day today, but if not, get planning now.

There’s three reasons to get your cocktail on today. Plus, Friday. So that’s four.


On May 13, 1806, Editor of The Balance and Columbian Repository, Harry Croswell answered the question “What is a cock-tail?”.

Given both Australia and the USA are knee-deep in election mode right now, it becomes particularly relevant. Let us numb our sensibilities in order to get through the weeks and months ahead.

“Cock-tail is a stimulating liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water, and bitters—it is vulgarly called bittered sling, and is supposed to be an excellent electioneering potion, in as much as it renders the heart stout and bold, at the same time that it fuddles the head. It is said, also to be of great use to a democratic candidate: because a person, having swallowed a glass of it, is ready to swallow any thing else.”

In what I thought unusually unprofessional of a newspaper editor (who am I kidding?), Harry not only shows us his political leanings here, but openly pushes us towards an Old Fashioned.

If that’s your chosen path, remind yourself how to – and how not to – make an Old Fashioned in this Shake, Stir, Muddle offering from February here.

(While you’re considering what to drink, take a listen to this great song Old Old Fashioned by Scottish band Frightened Rabbit. There’s no clip so just let it play in the background while you read on about World Cocktail Day. Full multi-media experience here at SSM).

But there are plenty of options to mark World Cocktail Day.

May 13 , 1931 also saw the opening of Harry’s Bar in Venice. This legendary bar is the
03vebarbirthplace of the Bellini. While not technically a cocktail (certainly not by Harry Croswell’s definition, nor by the standard definition of it having a minimum of three ingredients, at least one of which is alcohol), it is an official IBA cocktail and it is delicious so convention be damned.

And according to Eric Felten in The Wall Street Journal, one Sunday in May 1917 also saw the very first recorded cocktail party.

The 13th was a Sunday in 1917, so 1 in 4 chance.

A Mrs Julius S. Walsh Jnr of St Louis invited 50 guests to her house at noon, many of the guests coming straight from church and I imagine feeling as though their Sunday was looking markedly better when the sun was highest in the sky.

Dunno what Mrs Walsh’s first name was before she married old Julius but let’s just agree that we ladies being graciously allowed to keep as many of our names as we like when we get married is a step forward. That’s one hundred years of progress peeps, you don’t have to call me Mrs Peter.

Anyway, The St Paul Pioneer Press reported that the one hour party was an instant hit, no doubt fueled by the Manhattans, Martinis, Sazeracs, Gin Fizzes, Clover Leafs and Mint Juleps served during the 60 minutes of fun.

Apparently the most sought-after cocktail at the party though was a Bronx Cocktail, and that’s what I’ll be One-for-Road-Testing tonight in celebration of World Cocktail Day. It’s essentially a perfect Martini with orange juice. I’m anticipating that it might be a little sweet for my liking, but I do feel a little cold coming on, so I’ll consider it medicinal.

To stay on the3b82ae521230960b219d582069c46556me, I’ll be listening to Happy Hour, a 1986 classic from The Housemartins who I’ve forgotten about, but who will be back on high rotation now due to increased happiness factor. Watch this great clay-mation clip (pasted below) and tell me you don’t feel at least 3% cheerier.

I’ll be back on Tuesday with a full report.

Happy World Cocktail Day – let me know what you drink to mark the day!