Deploy Clover Clubs to deliver Dots

It’s true. We may be guilty of being a little old-fashioned at Shake, Stir, Muddle.

In fact, if we ever ran a wanky corporate workshop to figure it out, we’d probably come together behind a vision that included preservation of cultural heritage.

In the glass, on the screen, on the Walkman.

We value wit and whimsy and we are inspired by the great Dorothy Parker. Writer, humourist, cocktail-appreciator.

But nomenclature is another heritage front that’s opened up that we’re concerned about.

Yes, we have encountered the disturbing news that the name of the Patron Saint of SSM may be on the verge of extinction.

Seems that we are in danger of running out of Dorothies and being over-run by Olivias.

Think of that.

Image result for Dorothy Parker

The Dorothies of the world say things like:

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The Olivias of the world say things like:

Family, nature and health all go together.

Yawn.

Olivias are very nice and pretty and some of them can really turn a high school gang on its head and then release history’s worst Christmas song.

 

Yes, the world would be a poorer place without the Olivias.

But there is zero danger of that happening, Olivias are on the rise. We are, however, facing a problem in the Dorothy pipeline.

A dearth of Dorothies awaits us.

So consider this post a Call to Arms Muddlers. We need to rise up and use the power of the cocktail and possibly George Michael music to address the impending Dorothy shortage.

Now, I’m doing my bit. Every second child I give birth to has been named Dorothy, but we cannot rely solely on me.

This is a name that was once so popular, that in 1979, two consecutive Playmates of the Month were named Dorothy.

Yes, the list of famous and fabulous Dorothies is long and remarkable.

Lamour, Hamill, Dandridge, Metcalf-Lindenburger. Actors, Olympians, Astronauts. Trailblazers.

If you look up the list of famous Carolyns, the first six listed are actually Carols (totally not the same thing), and the first proper Carolyn you get is a porn star.

Now Dorothy Parker’s drink of choice – the Whiskey Sour – has been covered in these pages HERE, as has the Martini HERE, another favourite about which she probably did not write these most excellent lines often attributed to her but it sounds like something she would say so let’s not quibble over facts.

I like to have a martini,

Two at the very most.

After three I’m under the table,

After four I’m under my host

Today we’re serving up a Clover Club. While I thought that it was a Parker favourite, I must have imagined that because I can’t find any evidence of it now, but we will run with it for several reasons;

  1. It’s a Sour, and she favoured a Sour
  2. It’s gin-based, also not disagreeable to Ms Parker
  3. It’s an IBA Official Cocktail, an Unforgettable no less, and that’s our job at SSM

The Clover Club was invented pre-Prohibition in a Philadelphia club of the same name.

The Club met monthly from 1882 until the 1920s at the Bellevue Hotel. There, a select group of journalists and lawyers would eat and drink and talk.

So a bit like the Algonquin Round Table of which Dorothy Parker was a Charter Member. The Round Table met once a week for lunch and unlike the Clover Club which was only blokes, welcomed members on the basis of their demeanours, not their penis.

Image result for algonquin round table

To be fair, it started in 1919, so perhaps the Clover Club would have had female members had it been established later.

Like nowadays, I imagine they’d welcome Philly native Tina Fey, who could set up her own Algonquin and invite other Philadelphians, Will Smith and Noam Chomsky and Kevin Bacon. And possibly Bill Cosby.

(But keep a very close eye on your drinks Tina).

So, the Clover Club.

45ml Gin

15ml Lemon Juice

15ml Raspberry Syrup

1 Egg White

Dry shake the ingredients to emulsify (ie shake without ice), add ice, shake and serve straight up.

 

We One-for-the-Road-tested two Clover Clubs in recent field testing.

1806 Clover ClubRed Spice Road CloverOn Tuesday, Melbourne’s Bar 1806’s Clover Club (left). My photo doesn’t do it justice because I was sitting ten feet from Bill Nye the Science Guy and wanted to look cool.

On Wednesday, still in Melbourne, at Red Spice Road with their creditable variant the Kyoto Clover Club .

I’d go back for both.

What does this have to do with Dorothies?

It is widely accepted that drinking and conception are frequent bed-fellows. There is a reason that September has a higher birth rate than any other month*, Christmas and New Year cheer is that reason.

So go now and find some people of child-bearing age, and offer to buy them drinks.

They’ll accept, they can’t afford to buy a home, let alone a decent drink.

Make it a Clover Club, what you will. As they drink, turn up the music – say Alison Moyet’s Dorothy and whisper quietly in their ears, “Dorothy, Dorothy, Dorothy”.

 

Then send them home to their beloveds and hope for the best.

This time next year we’ll look at our results and start to address the Critical Clive Shortage that we’re also about to face.

Good work Muddlers, it’s a public service we’re doing.

Cheers!

*Not based on any valid statistical survey or even the most basic internet research

 

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