Let me tell you a tale of the water of life

First recorded in an Abbey in the Kingdom of Fife.

We have to go back some five centuries prior

To meet the first distiller, John Cor, the Friar.

 

Of course I refer to the whisky that’s Scotch

And pay homage to this dram that is really top notch.

For Scotch Whisky Day falls on July 27^th

And while I love gin, scotch must come straight from Heaventh.

 

It hails from Scotland, home of Alexander Graham Bell,

William Wallace, Sheena Easton, other legends as well.

Like Annie Lennox, Malcolm Tucker and those cheerful Proclaimers

But it’s Scotland’s fine whisky that should be the most famous.

 

Highland or Lowland, from Speyside or Islay

To try every one of them’s gonna take a while, hey?

So settle in for a minute while I tell you a story

Of Oban and Arran, Mortlach and Tobermory.

 

There’s GlenDronach, Glenfarclas, Glenfiddich, Glengyle

Glenlossie, Glenlivet, the list goes on a mile.

Across those fine isles, they’re malting, mashing, distilling

Producing this product, so delicious, so thrilling.

 

Sip quietly on your Bruichladdich or a wee dram of Balblair

You can make out the scent of the peat and salt air.

Then savour a bottle of the rare Longmorn

Or just enough til you’ve spotted a few unicorn.

 

David Beckham likes Haig, Churchill favoured Johnnie Walker

As a rule, stick to bottles that still have a corker.

For life is too short to drink anything crappa

So have a Lagavulin, a Laphroaig or a Scapa.

 

But on the rocks, in a cocktail, with water or neat,

However you take it, you’ll find it a treat.

So your choice is a blend? Mine’s a malt, let’s not bicker,

Just raise our glasses in salute of this mighty fine liquor.

 

Sláinte!